The Drop...

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The Drop...

Post by S W Dickson on Wed Dec 09, 2009 4:27 pm

“It's not negotiable” stated the stranger, deadpan, not even a glimmer of pity in his cold eyes.

Verhaus had been in the people business for as long as anyone round here could remember, but this stranger had thrown him. An unknown quantity. An unguessable character. He had thought he was just some other huckster, some wannabe ex military type wanting to improve his lot by going freelance. Some hardcase soldier whose moral fibre was weakened. But there was more to this fellow.

“My dear fellow, I appreciate the difficulty you have gone to run this little errand for me, but my point stands, I was quite clear about what state I desired the goods to be delivered. This, this delivery, is just not acceptable”

He was playing his role of flustered fopp fairly well reckoned Verhaus. If he knew anything, he knew that even the most deranged stitchjob wouldn't take on an idiotic dandy to make a point. The point he was making disturbed him though, and couldn't help but keep glancing at the package, with the slow drip drip drip worming its way inside his head. Whose idea was it to send this unknown to collect Drewsbury in the first place he couldn't remember, but this isn't what he ordered. He had clearly specified 'alive'. Or at least he thought he had. How in the hell was he gonna get the money out of the Cartel now? And what would his sister say when she walked in to see her husbands head spilling its gory contents across the floor of the dining hall?

This was definitely a situation he hoped he would survive.

“The bargain was for fuel, for the man. I gave you the man.”
“Not like this! Not like this! What am I supposed to do with this!?”
“Not my problem. He didn't feel like coming with me, so I persuaded him.”
This was getting out of hand and Verhaus was coming apart at the edges. He could feel his charade failing.
“Ahem, Sir?”
“Yes Bryson?” Verhaus felt relief at some other voice other than the ghastly throaty noise that rasped out of the strangers mouth.
“If I may make a suggestion sir?”
“Go on”
“If I may say, Mr. Drewsbury has never been one of your most, favoured, members of your family, and this fellow here, I'm sorry Sir, I never caught your name?”
“I didn't tell you”
“er, whilst I'm sure well intentioned, this gentleman has created something of a challenge for you.”
“I know all this Bryson, did you think I was sleeping?”


Our anti-hero comes up against another two-bit crimelord in another two-bit town. Whether or not he likes it, he's going to end up doing someones dirty work again. Actually, he never likes it. He doesn't like anything. He doesn't even smile. If he was in a pub, he'd be the one with his hood up looking shifty.
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S W Dickson
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Re: The Drop...

Post by sucramreverse on Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:35 pm

I bow to your storytelling abilities. This was quite...disturbing...gives a feeling of something far deeper, without making it too obvious. Verhaus sounds like a great 3d character. Are you going to continue the story, or going for just bits and pieces to give the 'anti-hero' some dimension?
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Re: The Drop...

Post by S W Dickson on Thu Dec 10, 2009 12:26 pm

Verhaus was meant to be an incidental "bad guy" - kinda turned into an effeminate Brando though!

The concept behind our anti-hero was that you never know his name. It could be anyone. He just turns up and gets into trouble. I found it easier to start in a removed 3rd person stand for it, as if you're not allowed into the mind of our actual hero, you do get to know how he affects others.

I just thought it'd be interesting to take a popular genre-character and spin it slightly differently. It'd be a mammoth pain to write more than a short story for him though. Too much style over content for comfortable novelization. (never write a story in first person - it's painful)

These wee shorts are kinda biographies/chariacatures for the story I originally began creating Terra Obscura for - to help get into the mindset of the characters. Eventually "Road Warrior" (that was the name I filed him under) would find himself an unwilling member of our drama. Accidental hero - without the hero bit.
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